Best pick up line ever

I really like forward, confident guys.  Because then you don't have to do anything, which is great for me because I am lazy.  I think I may have met my dream man last night.  Natasha and I decided to go running by the river.  Because we are both indecisive, we were standing at a fork in the path, asking each other repeatedly if we should go left or right and mulling the pros and cons or heading out in either direction (also repeatedly), when we were approached by a hobo. Which may or may not be a politically correct term.  I feel ok using it because of my obsession with hobo culture.  But anyway, so we are approached by this man, who right away told us that he was not panhandling or begging.  He just wanted to ask us a question.  I was all set to give some directions (or not.  I am really bad at Eugene directions), when he surprised us by announcing that we were both in violation of Eugene City Ordinance #12999.  Being unfamiliar with the Eugene city code, we asked him what that governed.  I also wanted to ask if it was strict liability, but refrained.  Better not to know.  Even though ignorance of the law is no defense.  According to our new friend, City Ordinance #12999 involves a two pronged analysis.  First, we were told that we were likely in violation because we are so attractive.  However, that alone would not be enough for liability.  In order to be found in violation, we also had to be found to be responsible for causing an individual, upon viewing us in all our glory, to suffer a heart attack!  And according to our new friend, we had done just that.  

I was pretty impressed with the hobo's line.  I thought it was pretty clever.  And after smelling the alcohol on his breath, I was even more impressed.  When I've been drinking, I can barely manage to order a hot dog from the cart, and this guy was practically composing poetry!  It was a beautiful moment.  What made it even more beautiful was the giant knife he had strapped to his leg.  I really need to spend more time by the river.