Tuesday, June 17, 2008

My broken face

Studying for the bar can be dangerous.  And I am talking about danger beyond mental breakdowns and blindness from too much studying.  When you are studying for the bar, you are pretty stressed and you want to make sure you are fit enough to make it through two grueling days of test taking, so it is important to exercise.  A large group of males studying for the bar here have started playing basketball everyday after class.  Because Natasha and I are always pushing for equality and also like to wear short shorts with basketball shoes, we decided we should join them.  This was a horrible idea.  Here's why: they play with undergrads.  And we all know undergrads have not yet developed full control over their arms and legs.  Their motor skills are simply not where they need to be yet.  Neither are their brains, but that is another matter.  

Anyway, so last Monday we donned are bball outfits, and, looking super cute, headed to the rec center to show off our skillz.  Eventually I found myself playing in a game in which I was the only girl.  This worried me, but not as much as the fact that there was a literal giant on the other team.  This guy was dunking all over the place and was possibly equal to about three Abras size -wise.  This guy also was incredibly obnoxious (at one point, he held the ball above Natasha's head, making her jump up and down like a kangaroo until finally putting her out of her misery by dunking on her).  

Sometimes when I play basketball with guys, I don't get many passes or really get to do much on offense.  So basically I just run around and set a lot screens.  This was the situation on that fateful Monday when I ran up to the three point line and set a beautiful screen on obnoxious guy.  Unfortunately for my face, obnoxious guy (who's brother is a former Duck player) didn't exactly see me (hence why my screen was beautiful) and as he swung around, his elbow connected with my nose and mouth.

As the blood dripped from right nostril, all of the other players came to my aid.  Well not all other players.  My assailant just made a joke about how I shouldn't set screens.  Once the tears has stopped falling, I responded that maybe he shouldn't swing his elbows.  He retorted that getting hit was actually my fault and that because I was in his sphere when I set the screen, I was technically guilty of fouling him.

This incident happened over a week ago but my face still hurts.  Luckily my nose looks exactly the same (since having to get a nose job is one of my greatest fears in life, this is important) and after Marie told me to stop trying to wiggle my front teeth to test them, my mouth has started to feel better.  But I think we can all learn an important lesson from this tragic tale:  stay away from uncoordinated undergrads!  

Since the incident, I have stuck with running by the river.  However, this also dangerous because no that the weather is nice, the methies have parties with their pit bulls on the banks of the river and sometimes I see dead snakes.  But at least running won't lead to a nose job.

As usual, nothing exciting is going on today.  Actually that's not true!  It was $3.99 chicken strip basket day at DQ.  I suggest you all take advantage.

4 comments:

Natasha said...

Very accurate account of the events. You forgot to add to drama: You needed an icepack to stop the swelling. That guy was a pick. I'm going to punch him if he does that to me again.

xoxo, "Audrey"

The Hidden Curriculum said...

You need to hurry home so that we can play more civilized basketball in Portland. We'll have to join the co-ed league I played in a few years back. Playing ball with strangers is much safer and more exciting here.

zandra said...

I think obnoxiously tall guy had a crush on you. I feel like I just read in an informative woman's magazine (possibly something sophisticated, like Glamour) that men will often try to antagonize you in an attempt to get you to talk to them. it also noted that in general, these are not nice boys. you seem to have come to a similar final conclusion. you may now have a deformed head on your shoulders, but at least it's a good head, no?

Megan said...

Absies, this is why I like to carry around heavy pint glasses with me whenever I am around obnoxious undergrads. Of course, it does usually result in getting unceremoniously ejected from public places.