The grip is like a secret handshake, not something inappropriate or likely to amount to a battery - which is a harmful or offensive touching. It is an intentional tort. But you know what it is not? A specific intent crime! The specific intent crimes are 1st degree murder, solicitation, attempt, conspiracy, forgery, false pretenses, assault, burglary, larceny, embezzlement and robbery. You know who I have to thank for that little bit of brilliance? Natasha Ng and her genius idea to make slightly dirty mnemonic devices. This one is 1st sac ffabler or "testicle story." Seriously, I don't know where I would be without her.
Tomorrow is the first day of the track and field trials, and hopefully tomorrow Nike, who has taken over the law school, will actually supply us with the promised donuts. Nike is using the law school as a hang out for all the athletes prior to their events, as well as a place to showcase its products. This would all be really cool if it wasn't for the fact that we are physically barred from actually seeing any of it. The commons has been entirely cordoned off with paneling and curtains so that you can't even peer down from the upper floors. I'm not really sure why Nike feels the need to subvert my ultimate goal of landing a track star, but its really not cool. Especially if I'm not going to get any donuts.